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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak."

"My friend and I had this never-ending argument in a swimming pool in France Turned into a total piscine contest"

"I'd be great at Wheel of Fortune. I shout random shit all the time. It's called ""tourettes"". ""Pat, I'd like to buy a... FUCK! SHIT! FUCK!"""

"The authorities just apprehended a notorious cereal killer. When they asked him why he did it, he said... ... he did it for the Kix."

"Hippies glare at me when I use plastic bags at the market. I wouldn't need to if this pack of gum had some handles."

"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"

"But officer, I put the phone down as soon as I saw that you saw me using it..."

"Jared Fogle asked me a question. ""On a scale of 1-10, what's your age?"""

"It's not really fair that little kids can talk and dogs can't. I bet dogs have way cooler stories and they don't ask as many dumb questions."

"What did the Mexican guy get for Christmas? His verdict."