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Joke of the Day

"your mom's so fat her nickname is ""damn!"""

"Donald Trump will run for President ... When the Cubs win World Series."

"A guy just yelled at me for tweeting and driving. I told him to get off my fucking hood and mind his own business."

"When I was young, at bedtimes... My mum used to tell me fairy stories with a happy ending. Just one of the benefits of having a masseuse as a parent I guess."

"What did the Grateful Dead fans say when they stopped smoking pot? ""Man this music sucks..."""

"Once a month, women go completely crazy ...for about 30 days."

"What is it called if someone wears your bra? Cobra!!!"

"What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter Warning: Offensive Harry got out of the chamber."

"[Jack Black's birthday] Oh wow..ANOTHER rock polisher, thanks grandma. ""How is Rock School going dear?"" It's School of ro- *sigh* nevermind."

"How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time."