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Joke of the Day
"What caused The Black Death? The police."
Next Joke
"Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown? Because he had no depth perception."
"GOd damn millennials with all their browser tabs. The only ""tab"" we used to ""open"" was at the bar, every day, because we had ""alcoholism"""
"What do you call a politician that can play brass? Donald trumpet"
"What do you call a kitten's post-mortem? An Aww-topsy."
"The stock market is astrology for people who think they're too good for astrology."
"How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long."
"My Grandfather told me ""Your generation relies too much on technology."" Me: ""No your generation relies too much on technology."" I then pulled out his life support."
"[wife gets home & sees shit on the rug] What's this? ""It was Rover he w.."" *dog makes throat slice gesture* ""It was me. I shit on the rug"""
"I heard about this place that replaces your limbs with prosthetics... But it'll cost you an arm and a leg!"