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Joke of the Day

"I dressed up as a woman for a day just to see what they go through on a daily basis... apparently women get called faggot A LOT."

"Poor helium. I like to imagine there's a shelium out there somewhere, waiting gaseously"

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"A procrastinator and a depressed man walk into a bar... Depressed man: I'm driving straight off a bridge tonight. Procrastinator: I've been telling myself that for weeks."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist"

"I dont think I can be gay I just dont have it in me."

"You know your a redneck when...... _______________ (Fill in the blank)"

"What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money."

"Jesus went into an inn. He handed the innkeeper 3 nails and asked, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted."