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Joke of the Day

"My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it"

"How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died. How long it took for you to figure it out?"

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"""Wow he's good"" -possum at the morgue"

"I'm a vegetarian for the health reasons. Now pass the cheese fries."

"What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can't beat it!"

"did you know that the bible doesn't actually contain any references to hell? or heaven? or christ?? it just a bunch of names & phone numbers"

"Online shopping is all fun and games until you have to get up and get your credit card from the other room."

"How do you REALLY confuse a gay person? Eight."