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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Russia import water buffalo? Because they already have Moscow."

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"What do the mafia and 69 have in common? A slip of the tongue and you're in for some shit."

"Two muffins were in an oven. One says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here."" The other one says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me."

"Scientists say North America is going to sink into the ocean but we can change that. With a healthy diet and a little bit of exercise."

"Hubby has an alarm app where you can record your own sounds or music to wake up to. I just changed his to ""THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!"""

"Got six numbers at the bar last night One more and it would have been a full phone number!"

"What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ"

"We were so poor Dad could only afford to drink 3-4 nights a week."