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Joke of the Day

"I try to work the song Uptown Funk into every conversation. Don't believe me? Just watch!"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a framed picture of Jesus? You only need one nail for the frame"

"Bodyguard Idea: Clowns. No one will come anywhere near you."

"Nothing's deader than the eyes of a Burger King employee who can no longer bring themselves to correct people who order ""McNuggets"" anymore."

"The artist jumped from a bridge, carrying all of his favorite paints and pastels. At least he passed with flying colors."

"What do you call a smart plumber? A wisecrack."

"Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects? Because she was too ahoof."

"What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave? Mind if I Slytherin?"

"The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag."

"Wouldn't mind having a bonus hole that fireworks shot out of when I got confused."