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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between pizza and your opinion? I asked for pizza."
Next Joke
"I send flowers ""From Steve"" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn"
"What do you call a battered Irish Man? Mashed Potatoes."
"Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said ""Watch out for worms won't you!"" The first one replied ""Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."""
"Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling ""LET THE BEETS DROP!"" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable."
"Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothing'."
"What's 20 foot long, screams like a banshee and has no pubes? The front row of a One Direction concert."
"[on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir"
"A touching story One day, the boy touched the girls hand. The next day, the girl touched the boy's hand. What a touching story.."
"What has two legs and is covered in blood? Half a dog."