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Joke of the Day

"Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*"

"i work in the elevator business. It has it's ups and downs."

"What's half a joke look like?"

"My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice."

"Skrillex used to play string instruments in the orchestra, until he dropped the bass."

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently it's called kidnapping"

"What Do You Call A Group... Of both crows and ducks, of which the ratio is 80% ducks and 20% crows? A murder most fowl."

"What is the best way to pick up American girls? With a crane."

"Did you hear about the guy who got herpes in his eyebrows? He was looking for love in all the wrong places."

"Oh my god Becky look at her roast beef sandwich"