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Joke of the Day

"My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice."

"why did no one listen to the wheelchair joke? It had no back story."

"Police have just been called to a kindergarten... ...where a three-year-old is resisting a rest."

"What do you call fish with no eyes? A fsh."

"What car does Catwoman drive? A Purrgeot."

"I'm not racist, but... >[deleted]"

"So my new gardener asked me, for the fourth damn time, which plants needed care. I quickly spun, pointed angrily at the daisies and shouted... ""WATER THOOOOOSE!"""

"What's a woman's best curve? Her smile."

"Quick! Does anyone know how I can get red wine off of my date's white cat?!"

"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."