216763

Joke of the Day

"My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice."

"What do you call a fish with no ""eyes""? Fsh"

"A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?"" The parrot responded, saying, ""there are millions of them running around in Africa."""

"Psychiatrist: ""Your check bounced and was returned for insufficient funds."" Me: ""So how does that make you feel?"""

"Why wasn't the droid hungry? Because BB8"

"MAN: I'll get pasta & she'll have the salad COW: What's that mean? MAN: Uh- COW: I'm fat? MAN: ... You're a cow? PIG AT NEXT TABLE: Ooo"

"Late to bed and late to rise . . . Makes a man who will serve french fries."

"What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're? ad homonym"

"Steven Gerrard obviously believes his best chance of winning the Premier League is to join the MLS and then hope that Man City try to sign him."

"Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman."