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Joke of the Day

"Why did the star go to the bathroom? Because it had to Twinkle."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil."

"RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is"

"Last time I was upset, my dog brought me all of his toys and laid on my head."

"I like my women like I like my coffee So hot I fill them with creme in 3 seconds"

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

"Nothing cures a hangover like a positive pregnancy test."

"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."

"Saw these two homeless people making out and was like... ...get a room!"

"What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !"