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Joke of the Day

"Ugly How do you know your the ugly in a couple? I will spell it out for you, U come first..."

"Why weren't the eggplants allowed into the mushroom party? Because there wasn't much room and they aren't fun guys."

"SM A Masochist walks up to a Sadist. Masochist: Hurt me. HURT ME! Sadist: No."

"CW: How was your weekend? *finds nearest object* ""Hello?"" CW: Are you talking to a stapler? ""I'm sorry, I have to take this."""

"I do NOT trust my bowels... I just think they're full of shit _"

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex can make your whole day, but anal sex makes your hole weak."

"Hummingbirds I finally found out why hummingbirds hum They don't know the lyrics."

"What does a drowning person looks like lol"

"China's rise is terrifying: look at this list of casualties from Chinese military interventions over the last three decades http://i.imgur.com/WFsyTn8.png"

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! *drops mic*"