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Joke of the Day

"I carry two crickets around in a small box so when I say something that isn't funny I can supply my own sound effects. They get real tired."

"What's a Redditor's favorite food? Copy pasta! ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry"

"It's pretty cool how Atheist prayers are just thoughts about actually doing something useful."

"So I told my girlfriend that she'd look better with her hair back... Which apparently is a very rude thing to say to a cancer patient."

"I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there. I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint."

"What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles."

"Good cop: I get it. You wanted an easy way out. Laptop: Please update Adobe."

"My 12 wakes up, showers, changes into another pair of PJ's and starts playing PS4. He has no idea how jealous I am."

"What is McDonald's demolition service called? Quarter pounder."

"Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world."