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Joke of the Day

"If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes."

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"My girlfriend is always hooking, ending up elbow deep in a bush because she swings both ways She's a terrible golfer"
"Friends and family are like butt cheeks... Shit seperates them but, they always come back together in the end."
"You - The food smells wonderful Me - That's me I burped"
"some bitch dyke... ...filled up my mentions fggot fucker"
"Romantic subtweets are like watching a couple kissing in a restaurant. We're all very happy for you but it still makes us want to vomit."
"How many Police Officers does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen. One to change the light bulb, and twelve to beat the room for being black."
"My grandad let me in on the secret to picking up hot Jewish girls during WWII.. with a brush and shovel.."
"I was trying to make a joke about coat hanger abortion with my mom I was just having a poke at it."
"12 year old girls are an untapped market."