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Joke of the Day

"I found a popular erotic novel from Iran It's called ""Sheep."""

"I was in a band.. called ""Missing Cat"". You might have seen our posters."

"Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door"

"My work ethic could best be described as ""procrastinate as much as possible then frantically scream OH FUCK right before the deadline."""

"Naming that space movie Gravity makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like There's No Dinosaurs In This."

"I don't want to be racist.... so stop trying to make me to take up competitive running!"

"Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Contrary to what people say you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes you get so calm you can't move."

"Did you hear about the french man who got raped by a group of mimes? They did unspeakable things to him."

"I never text and drive bc that would imply that I actually go places."