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Joke of the Day

"M: I can't access Twitter IT: We blocked twitter M: What am I supposed to do with this computer now? IT: Work? M: Who hurt you?"

"I met a guy who cross-bred insects... ...he was alright at first, but I soon tired of his ant-ticks."

"i bet Slash has a lot of trouble trying to tell people how to get to his website"

"A girl agreed to go on a date with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water. I schwepped her off her feet."

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"""Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"""

"How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb None. It's a hardware issue"

"Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds."

"Knock Knock Who's there? You are (Directed by M night Shayamalan)"

"How long does it take for a woman to have an orgasm? Who cares?"