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Joke of the Day
"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says, ""Why the long face?"""
Next Joke
"*sets trap* *snares the Easter Bunny* *pats his head* *lets him go* What?!?...What did you think I was going to do, you savages."
"ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments"
"What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round? Patty O'Furnature"
"an attractive man on the internet called me pretty, so I sent him my finger nails in the mail. i'm so nervous lol what if he doesn't reply??"
"Oscar Pistorious That sounds like a spell Harry Potter uses to make your legs fall off"
"How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes at least three light bulbs."
"How loud is John Cena? #xDb"
"""Read 'em and weep"" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII."
"Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?"