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Joke of the Day

"""Read 'em and weep"" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII."

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator"

"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."

"Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!"

"Whoever said you cannot live off of wine and cheese alone did not try hard enough."

"Have you heard about the type of hay made from oak leaves? Apparently it's OK"

"A guy walked into a bar... He said ow."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The get to the other side"

"Know what ""buffet"" stands for? Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together. Credit: This loud big ugly fat fucker drinking a few tables away from me at this bar."

"Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people."