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Joke of the Day

"an attractive man on the internet called me pretty, so I sent him my finger nails in the mail. i'm so nervous lol what if he doesn't reply??"

"How do you get even with Hellen Keller? (Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"What do Jewish pedophiles say? ""Hey kids, want to buy some candy?"""

"Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work don't worry, he's fully recovered"

"Why do Chihuahuas have such short necks? Because their heads are so close to their bodies!"

"A farmer and his herd of cows walk into a bar. The bartender says to the farmer ""We don't serve your kine here."""

"'Why are they arresting that dog?!? What did he do?!?' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car"

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, Teach a man to phish and he'll empty an old woman's savings account."

"Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law"

"3 Men Walk Into a Bar One of them should've noticed. (credit to my brother)"