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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could be like my cable company's customer service line and make people press 37 different numbers before they can talk to me."

"What do Apple and Titanic have in common? They both killed Jack."

"Hey did you know a new medication came out for depressed lesbians? Tridixigin"

"Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the ""pull out"" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you."

"I tried a new strain of weed... I highly recommend it."

"what do you call a scared Mexican? ""What do you call a scared Mexican?"" ""Pedro-fied"""

"'I just call it like I see it...' -People giving their unsolicited opinion about their unsolicited opinions."

"What do you call a condom within a condom? Contraception."

"I was talking to coworkers about quitting this job and working as a pornographic actor... I decided against it, because I realized I was quitting ""This fucking job for that fucking job."""

"Where does Sean Connery keep his guns? In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense."