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Joke of the Day

"I was so happy it only took me seven days to complete this puzzle! The box said it would take 2-4 years."

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cart has claws at the end of its paws. A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Edit: spelling"

"People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don't understand the meaning of the word vacation."

"How do you spell onomatopoeia? Just spell it like the way it sounds!"

"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" Helium doesn't react."

"The tabloids would have a field day if Billy Joel ever actually started a fire."

"I'm sorry, Black Lives Matter is actually a peaceful and forward thinking movement that our society needs... Now if you could all stop sending me death threats on twitter that would be great."

"So, nothing rhymes with orange, huh? *changes name to MC Orange, wins every rap battle, and retires undefeated*"

"Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to ""Unstable"""