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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Cheese isn't just grate, it's legendairy."

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it."

"My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face."

"If the police ask, I was in my house from 2009 to 2013."

"How do you tell the difference between the front and back of a tree? Go to the toilet, because you would never shit in front of a tree."

"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."

"How to find out if someone uses two computer monitors: they tell you."

"I think I have a medicine fetish. I get a boner when i take Viagra."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? Your job sucks"