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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Cripple jokes are terrible... I just cant stand them..."

"What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea? I've never had a Walnut on my chest.."

"You know what they do in West Virginia for Halloween? They pump kin"

"What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe."

"Look, lady, you can either be disappointed that I have an average penis, or excited that I have a GIGANTIC micropenis."

"Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, ""No ifs, ands, or buts!"""

"What do you call it when a girl throws a tantrum during her period? An ovary-action."

"Did you know that building hospitals next to railroad tracks leads to an increase in the total number of trained doctors?"

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"""