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Joke of the Day
"Bill Cosby is like Santa Claus He comes while you're asleep."
Next Joke
"Good night everyone. There's a pillow with my name on it. It's a long story. But basically, I had a brief obsession with needlework."
"What kind of cereal does Ronda Rousey eat? Kix"
"Heard about the seafood diet? You see food and you eat it."
"The only bright side to food poisoning is weighing yourself when it's over."
"Just realized some twitter handles are probably prison ID numbers."
"Love every corner They said you will find love in every corner. I must say my life is in a circle"
"I was trying to work out which of the Thai girls at a bar was actually a girl, and got it embarrassingly wrong... ...I felt such a dick."
"Finished christmas shopping for my entire family. *walks out of pharmacy*"
"[Jesus' dating profile] I love wine that's made from water, taking long walks on the ocean and going to supper w my friends."