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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church."

"Dirty Jokes. What do you tell a woman with no arms, and No legs? ---Nice Tits DarKS1deZ"

"If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?"

"What do you call Winnie The Pooh's grandmother? Poohnanni"

"How did Charlie Sheen get HIV? By injecting tiger blood"

"There was a knock in my door ""Who's there?"" ""Police"" ""Get out, I didn't call police, I called whores"" ""Your neighbors called us"" ""Let them fuck you then"""

"I saw a guy cut a curvy path through a corn field... It was a-ma(i)zing."

"Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda"

"I was called a faggot by an angry homeless woman last night. I would've been offended but I was too busy living in a home."

"COP: You're under arrest for owning a non-domesticated animal. ME:(looks at otter)You mean Dave? COP:...and for this weed ME: That's Dave's"