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Joke of the Day

"Where do the elements go to church? At the Atomic Mass!!"

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

"FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life WIFE: our wedding day ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same"

"What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."

"I'm so hungry I could eat this piece of paper. *adds salt to resume*"

"Girls love shoes... so if she throws one at you, you know she's really pissed off."

"Should I Get In Trouble For Something I Didn't Do... Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: No of course not! Student: Oh, OK great. I didn't do my homework..."

"Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery."

"NSFW:Guy's should hold on to their memories. Guy's should hold on to their memories. Stupid Auto Correct: I meant mammaries."

"Babe Ruth Walks Into a Bar Bartender says ""Why the Long Balls?"