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Joke of the Day

"""And for our next lesson, we'll learn how to roll a blunt, or un cigarrillo marijuana"" - Rosetta Stoned"

"Doctor, doctor! I only have 59 seconds to live! Just a minute!"

"What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us we can make a lot of money."

"Sorry if long post, but definitely worth the read 10 million years TL;DR 10 million years"

"What do the dolphins and the post office have in common? Neither deliver on Sundays."

"Don't be irreplaceable - if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted."

"I went to a weiner emporium today... I never sausage a sight!"

"I seemed to have lost all my vegetable puns I hope they turnip somewhere"

"My girlfriend got her car smogged, and suddenly I wondered about Middle-earth; Do Hobbits ever need to Smaug their cars?"

"Are the readers of this subreddit mostly men? Who else would consider a couple inches of text to be long?"