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Joke of the Day

"I forgot the joke about the Jonestown Massacre. All I remember is that the punchline killed"

"I just submitted my penis as ""Innovator of the Year"" in 2009, for his pioneering work in solving womens hunger."

"You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a ""clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup"" kind of morning."

"What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has NO EL."

"What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner? Forgetti Bolognese."

"A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid. ""You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!"" ""No,"" slurs the mathematician... ""I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."""

"knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""KGB."" ""KGB wh--"" [slap recipient of the joke] ""Vee vill ask za questions!"""

"It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. I've learned to hate fun because I want a super buff face."

"What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer? ""Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"""

"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad"