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Joke of the Day

"Rick Astley told me that you could borrow any of his Disney movies, except Up He's never gonna give you Up..."

"Why do meth heads love Halloween? Three sleeps 'till Christmas!"

"The problem with driving a Yugo... ... is that the Czech engine light is always on."

"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"

"There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation... except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve."

"Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house? Because he is an ex-Terminator."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean...? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine."

"In Canada... ...you are more likely to be killed by a moose than a terror plot. Damn Mooselisms."

"How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school? None."