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Joke of the Day
"What did the Wife-DNA say to the Husband-DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?"
Next Joke
"*takes your compliment* *stares nervously at it*"
"What is an assassin's favorite element? What is an assassin's favorite elem- Surprise! (it is much better when spoken, but I'm proud of it)"
"Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math"
"I poured spot remover on my dog Now he's gone"
"""Madame, I will have your finest package of gum, and money is no object."" how I impressed the hot cashier at the gas station just now"
"Note to guy who hit the crosswalk button like 45 seconds after I did & just then it changed: You didn't do that. I did that."
"I'll likely spend most of my child bearing years looking for a place to plug in my phone"
"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."
"Did you here about the guy who turned to Scientologists to escape his past? Out with Xeold, in with Xenu! :P"