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Joke of the Day

"funny joke I thought my son would be happy that I bought him a trampoline. But ohhhh noooo, all he wants to do is sit around and cry in his wheelchair."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero, they will just beat the room for being black."

"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."

"So, I'm painting a big blue rectangle in my backyard. So Google Earth will think that I have a pool :/"

"[infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*"

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist I'd have tree fiddy"

"""Tell me the good news first, doc."" ""You're going to be famous!"""

"{Police Job Interview} Captain: Go out & kill 5 Blacks, 3 Mexicans & a kitten. Recruit: Why kill a kitten? Captain: You're hired."

"[Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... ""How late?"" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you..."

"Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!"