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Joke of the Day

"How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'? Four. O, double-u and e."

"How many Police Officers does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen. One to change the light bulb, and twelve to beat the room for being black."

"Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police."

"What do you call a paedophile with no legs? A creepy crawly!"

"Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters."

"Are you sitting down? I don't have anything to tell you, I'm just curious."

"If you take a dump on a leaf You will have a shitty thyme"

"Is there a hand sanitizer out there that can kill the 0.01% germ?"

"A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive I was pretty sad I came in second place."

"What do turtles and pedophiles have in common? They both get there before the hare/hair."