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Joke of the Day

"A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive I was pretty sad I came in second place."

"I went out with anorexic twins last night... 2 birds, 1 stone"

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? You can eat a bowling ball."

"[walks up to guys playing basketball] ""mind if I join?"" you any good? Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere"

"TIL Kurt Cobain didn't have a license. He preferred riding shotgun"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choir boy!"

"Batman threw Two-Face at my car, and now it has a Harvey Dent"

"NEWSFLASH: Billy Corgan has permanently lost his voice, and can only lip sync his songs... Going forward his band will be known as 'DUBSMASHING PUMPKINS'."

"What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?"

"I know it's gross, but the only time it's acceptable to shout 'I have diarrhoea' is when playing scrabble. Because it's worth a shit load of points. - Zach Galifianakis."