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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying I don't like you, but if you had an open wound I'd hand you a salt shaker."

"Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin."

"(Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian. I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech."

"Why don't chicken coops have four doors? They would be chicken sedans"

"My buddy asked me what it's like now that I'm circumcized I told him not much has changed, I just get a little less head."

"I almost had a heart attack when I saw a black man carrying a TV like mine. Then I remembered mine was at home working in the garden."

"Me and my girlfriend had a suicide pact. One of us got cold feet."

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes!"

"I'm living in a rough neighbourhood... Some thug tore the front and back pages of my dictionary out! It just goes from Bad to Worse"

"Why is Perfume so cheap? Because its only worth one scent!"