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Joke of the Day

"Parenting is basically telling your kids they need to eat more fruit then telling them to quit eating all the fruit."

Next Joke
 
"I Bought Some Shoes From a Drug Dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day."
"Me: Time travel Interviewer: what's your biggest stren- holy shit"
"What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan? Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light? Kia stoptima"
"My internet goes at 20mb per second... wonder how much faster it goes per first!"
"According to this box of cereal I am a family of 13 eating breakfast"
"What did the cookie farmer say? ""I've been raisin' cookies."""
"What's the shortest joke you know/can come up with? Here's mine: Women are more holy than men."
"Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ? So he could tell the time at night !"
"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."