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Joke of the Day

"I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start."

"I hate gingerbread. If I owned a bakery, I wouldn't tolerate gingerbread. I'd be like, ""Get outta here, you redhead. Your money isn't good here."""

"So all about these girls killing folks because of slenderman..... I guess you could say, they were a victim of anorexic culture"

"""Blackhat"" opens to just $4M this weekend with a $70M budget, making it the first bomb of 2015. Biggest hack in the movie? Micheal Mann"

"Please stop telling me how poor you are via Twitter for iPhone"

"What do you call Root Beer in a Square Glass? Beer."

"The powerball 1.3 billion dollars"

"If You Have Never Seen A Galaxy Explode Just head to the nearest Samsung store."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? Wipes his ass."

"They say shoe size correlates with penis size... ...which makes getting raped by a clown that much more terrifying."