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Joke of the Day

"The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling."

"Time flies like an arrow Fruit flies like a banana"

"I decided to get my girlfriend & her sister new jackets for Christmas That is why I bought a pair of new gloves."

"How do you help a sick ghost feel better? Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!"

"settle down twitter crush. i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids"

"ADHD in the streets Naughty fr...so hey, does anyone want to play Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"What did the floor say to the desk? I can see your drawers!"

"Remember to check on your elderly neighbors to see if they have anything worth stealing."

"Some say youth is wasted on the young, I say wealth is wasted on the old. Also Oxycontin."

"Two blondes walking down the hood and one said: -Wait.. I smell sperm... someone is fu*king nearby!!... The other one responded: -Nah, I just belched"