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Joke of the Day

"If I were a DJ, I think the best part of the job would be making people sorry that they hired me"

"My favorite part of Avatar was when Queen Amidala defeated the Klingons by helping Harry Potter & Legolas destroy the White Witch's ring?"

"Don't assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter."

"Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:..."

"Duh There are three types of people in this world. Those who can add up, and those who can't"

"What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints."

"I don't think gymnasts know how clearly we can see their genitals"

"I was going to watch a documentary on the Malaysian Airlines But I couldn't find it."

"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."

"I swallowed two cans of helium today HeHe"