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Joke of the Day

"Boss: How come I don't see you doing any work? Me: Because you have no imagination!"

"What do you do after making too many cheese puns on r/jokes? Goudaff Reddit."

"I'd rather watch a four hour montage of old Russian men eating soup than have a toddler throw a tantrum in a Target."

"My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face. I wear contacts."

"The teacher asked her class, ""Who can make a sentence containing 'defense', 'defeat', and 'detail'?"" Little Johnny puts up his hand and says, ""Defeat of de dog went over defense before detail"""

"What's Harry Potters favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking! (JK ROLLING)"

"When my Great Grandmother was a kid she asked her dad for a ring with a cat on it. Her father replied with stick your finger up the cats ass."

"I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say ""let it go"" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography."

"What do British nuclear engineers eat? Fission chips."

"My wife wanted me to get one of those penis enlargers- so I did... ...she's 21 and her name's Cathy."