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Joke of the Day

"I'm a man trapped outside a woman's body."

"I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement."

"What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily? Amoxicillin"

"What's fast and breathes fast underwater? Definitely not a toddler, I can tell you that now."

"A proton walks into a bar ... Tells the bartender, ""You don't serve my kind here"". ""Really ?!"", asks the bartender. ""I'm positive""."

"There was a half black, half Asian kid in my school. What did some kids call him? A ""Chigga"" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)"

"Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house? because he has gnocchi"

"What do you call flying jews Smoke"