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Joke of the Day
"I'm a man trapped outside a woman's body."
Next Joke
"Paranoid? Nope. I'm just trying not to crash in case someone has replaced the airbag in my car with a boxing glove on a spring."
"Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes"
"The only upside to Trump's big wall is that Texas will finally get some of Banksy's Art. Maybe like a little girl and a soldier with a gun"
"Why do lawyers have so much anal sex? Because they are fucking assholes."
"What do lesbians use to get on top of a building? A scissor lift."
"What do you call Israelis that overly spray tan? Orange Jews!"
"Police arrested two kids yesterday , one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."
"I have a life besides Twitter. Like this one time that I take a walk into the woods but then realize there was no wifi & I began to panic."
"One from my 7yo God daughter: why can't Elsa hold on to her balloon? Because she keeps letting it go!"