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Joke of the Day

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world Those who can count and those who can't"

"If you are willing to jump off a bridge, because your wife cheated on you... ...just remember it is a pair of horns, and not a pair of wings."

"No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo."

"""I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT"" - Guy who named the sweater."

"My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003. She's up to three packs a day. Rodney Dangerfield"

"Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much."

"Engraved on a hypochondriac's tombstone... See, I told you I was sick."

"Ordering at Chipotle: ""With white rice."" ""Brown?"" ""No, white. And chicken."" ""Steak?"" ""No, chicken. And medium salsa."" ""Mild?"" ""No, medium."""

"What's the difference between a white story and a black story? A white story starts with ""Once Apon a Time"" and a black story starts with ""Y'all ain't gonna believe this"""

"Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?"