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Joke of the Day

"Why did the walrus go to the tuppeware party? To find a tight seal.. Badum tsst"

"*holds flashlight under chin* ""...and then the typo appears, AFTER you hit send!!"" *everyone screams in horror*"

"Why did the melon leave her boyfriend? He said he can't elope."

"(Hot babe to me) your brooding drives me wild, what's going on inside your head (Me, thinking about a panini) I don't want to talk about it"

"What is a vampire's favourite soup ? Scream of mushroom !"

"What does a witch take when she can't poop? Hexlax^TM"

"Why do Vampires hate Writers? Because they hate Type O's"

"Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You."

"Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shit."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."