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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby? A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper."

"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"

"What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior? Yall nailed it."

"I debated suicide... I debated suicide by sudoku once. I wanted my death to count."

"Some one destroyed the punchline to my Beastie Boys joke earlier.. I'm tellin' y'all, it was a sabotage"

"Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels."

"I don't care what everyone says, I think my Jersey Shore hairstyle makes me look sophisticated."

"My jokes are like those of a twelve year old At least, that's what your mother told me last night"

"I know skinny jeans are fashionable... But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off"

"What type of fruit do twins prefer? Pears."