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Joke of the Day

"Trump is the perfect candidate for American guys who secretly believe they could come out of the stands and score a touchdown"

"""You're bleeding because you don't floss"" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room."

"Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes? Because they find me more appealing."

"How do you know your sister is on her period?..... Your father's dick tastes like blood..."

"I was walking down the road.. I was walking down the road and saw a beautiful woman, A spark flew off between us. We had passionate, amazing sex. Amazing what tasers can do these days."

"What do eggs say when they're turnt? Omelette, fam"

"What do gynecologists and pizza delivery drivers have in common? They're close enough to smell it, but can't have a taste."

"McDonald's french fries are not real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect. Tasted fine, too."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is."

"Now that Gay Marriage is legal in all states I can finally get married as a solid, liquid, or gas."