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Joke of the Day
"404 jokes... I just can't find the humor in them."
Next Joke
"Perfect Joke: Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was assaulted."
"I hear most Muslims are capitalists... They're always going on and on about some Great Profit."
"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"
"Guy in restaurant: Mam, are u ok? Are u choking? Me: *wipes off drool & removes a cherry stem from my mouth that's not tied in a knot*"
"I hate the phrase ""let me clarify"" because it means someone is about to talk some more."
"Ew, I bet people who call people hipsters as an insult don't even have a favorite kombucha flavor"
"Can you tell me a joke existential in nature?"
"""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."" ""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""
"I'm one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow."