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Joke of the Day

"It's funny how trusting of bartenders we are. I wouldn't let my life-long best friend hold my credit card for four hours while I was getting bombed."

"Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call!"

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job."

"A group of IPhones walk into a bar Bartender: Get out! IPhones: Why? Bartender: I know you don't have any money! IPhones: How? Bartender: Because all you Apple products lost your Jobs years ago!"

"What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration"

"I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed."

"How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero? 3. 2 to die and 1 to never get over it. Heard while playing Arkham Knight"

"A1 Use this punchline to create a weird, funny tone... ""Listen, we need to sit down and have a long, hard, and possibly phallic conversation."""

"What do Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have in common? Their goldman sacks"