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Joke of the Day

"Santa probably regrets giving coal Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty children now that global warming is threatening his habitat."

"I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape."

"What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors? A chicken sedan."

"Did you hear about the cow that tried to hurdle a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster."

"I don't have OCD... I have CDO. The letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be."

"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."

"A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. ""Oh I reckon about the same as short ones!"" the farmer answered."

"What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up."