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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the insomniac, agnostic dyslexic? He was up all night wondering if there was a dog."

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once."

"I read in the 1930's teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn't even want to party."

"A guy on the street just said ""nice feet"" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?"

"Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud."

"When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear ""tip to tip"" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again."

"I bet people who are actually from West Philadelphia get really tired of telling people where they were born and raised."

"What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch? Namaste."

"What's 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period."