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Joke of the Day

"The real reason OP never delivers.."

"Our generation doesn't knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we're outside."

"I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college... ... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot."

"My buddy just got a supercomputer. Thing's about as big as a room. That shit Cray."

"Scissors Commercial: *Montage of people karate chopping paper in half* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better... Nevermind that was rad"

"Asked my ex-husband once for song requests. He said he wanted to hear the sound of silence. So I sang, ""Hello darkness, my old friend...."""

"If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence. In the country it's called sibling rivalry."

"Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller? They are both crushed-asians"

"How do you confuse a palaeontologist? Give them a used tampon and ask what period it's from."