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Joke of the Day

"Live this day as if it is your last. And if it turns out it isn't, make a great many apologies tomorrow."

"I broke up with a tin of paint this week. I'm feeling pretty emulsional. (CREDIT TO MY MUM FOR THIS MASTERPIECE)"

"I peeled off the sticker that said ""Don't consume alcohol while on medication."" I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

"Don't forget to insult random strangers on the internet today, morons. <3"

"What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him? Get off me, homes!"

"If you throw acid on a basic bitch does she become salt?"

"Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake their soda"

"Two women were sitting quietly."

"What's a holocaust survivor's favorite movie? Gone With The Wind."