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Joke of the Day

"Step 1: Walk without rhythm, Step 2: Ride the worm Step 3: Prophet"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate the pie before it was cool."

"I bought shampoo for ""badly behaved"" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies."

"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a jew? Canoes tip"

"I don't have a girlfriend.... I just know a few people who would get mad if I said that."

"I'll have a 12 year old scotch. Hold the scotch."

"The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen. Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone."

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel"

"In light of the holiday Season... What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters? Noe(L) ...no L.... im going to walk away now.. sorry"